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"If Brad Pitt walked down the street, cars would crash into each other. I'm really lucky not to have to deal with that."
– Matt Damon, relishing his relative lack of popularity compared to his fellow Sexiest Man Alive alum, to USA Today
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"I'm here to clear the rumors up. The truth is that it's not Beyoncé that's pregnant. It's me."
– Beyoncé's mom Tina Knowles, having fun with the persistent rumors that her daughter is expecting with husband Jay-Z, on The Ellen DeGeneres Show
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"I don't know how they got me to do half the stuff I did."
– Lea Michele, on the racy photos she and her Glee castmates Cory Monteith and Dianna Agron posed for in the magazine, to GQ
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"It's like, this is album number three. You guys have had fair warning!"
– Taylor Swift, on her tendency to call out her former flames in song, to PEOPLE
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"Bottom line, she's not a mere mortal like the rest of us. She's an Internet savvy, chicken-cooking Academy Award-winning octolingual something like that mother of two lifestyle guru…Thanks for making all of us look lazy."
– Jake Gyllenhaal, warmly introducing pal Gwyneth Paltrow at Elle's Women in Hollywood tribute, according to E! News
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"I wish you all the love and happiness. No pressure – but if you happen to find a husband and have 1,000 kids, I'd really be happy."
– Kris Jenner, toasting daughter Kim Kardashian at her 30th birthday bash at Tao Las Vegas
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"I'm always shocked by people who talk about not being middle-aged...People are always like, 'Thirty-five is not middle-aged.' I'm like, 'Double it.'"
– Julianne Moore, who turns 50 in December, to Allure
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"Steve Carrell, star of The Office, will hold your hand, say your name and simulate an orgasm. I couldn't begin to put a value on that…That's how he got his job on the Daily Show."
– Jon Stewart, auctioning off the talent of his former evening show correspondent to raise money during the live auction segment of Stewart's Night of Too Many Stars: An Overbooked Concert For Autism Education
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"After we watch the Jersey Shore, something happens to you…I think the word is frisky."
– Mark Consuelos, outing wife Kelly Ripa while guest co-hosting on her morning talk show
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"The good thing about my job is that I can still play these roles when I'm just skin and bones. In Die Hard 212, I'll fire the last shot."
– Bruce Willis, 55, on his plan to be an action star for a long time, to Berlin's B.Z.